Legacy Place Society held a conference in southern Alberta for first responders to connect and share stories of surviving suicide.

The gathering of over 100 police officer, paramedics, firefighters, soldiers and other emergency personnel allowed for a discussion around suicide.

Benjamin Vernon is a captain paramedic for the City of San Diego fire department in California. He travels the continent sharing his harrowing escape with death that eventually led him down an equally dark path.

“I was just desperate to share my story so that others wouldn’t struggle like I did. I got really close to suicide, diagnosed with (post-traumatic stress disorder) in 2015,” Vernon said.

While responding to a medical call, Vernon was nearly killed.

“My attempted murder was caught on video,” said Vernon. “Because there was video evidence of a mental health injury, it made it considerably easier, and I think the only reason I realized I could reach out for help was because people could see my attack.”

Stories like Vernon’s enable other survivors to learn about the challenges created by mental health injuries.

Diana Festejo is the executive director for Legacy Place Society. She says she hopes the conference will lead to fewer suicides in the future.

“It’s an opportunity for the first responders and their spouses to come together with the theme of learning more about how to be in identifying the signs and symptoms and the challenges that are associated with the subject of suicide,” Festejo said.

The conference also gives first responders a chance to connect with those facing the exact same issues as themselves.

“I think relation is the biggest thing in mental health, especially in law enforcement,” said Christian Olson, a constable with the Lethbridge Police Service.

“The minute I can tell a story and someone in the room can relate to what I am saying, I know that that person is, whatever they’re grieving, whatever they’re going through, whatever mental health struggle they have, at least they’ll have comfort in knowing that someone is struggling with them and they’re not alone in their struggle.”

Despite this peer support, Olson says a stigma remains.

“The stigma is there and it’s always going to be there. It’s up to us to continue to work together and push through it,” said Olson.

“It’s just the courage to talk about it, that’s the biggest problem.”

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He says the “old-school” mentality still exists in many first responder occupations and it causes serious harm to not only the victim of a mental health crisis, but also their family.

“We’re going to bottle it up, we’re not going to talk about it, let’s continue to push through the day. What ends up happening is people are taking it home and your personal life starts to fall apart,” Olson said.

Some of the lessons learned at the conference are being brought back to the workplace with the goal of creating a more informed and resilient team.

“It’s about the networking, learning what’s out there, what’s available to share with our group. What is something we can bring to our organization to make us stronger and more robust,” said Blake Olson, firefighter and paramedic with Lethbridge Fire and Emergency Services.

As for Vernon, he says he hopes conferences like this one will lead to a day where all people are comfortable discussing their mental health.

“The goal, absolutely, is ending the stigma of needing mental health is weakness. So, that’s the reason I share my story. I show the video of my attempted murder and just try to end that stigma and say, hey mental health,” Vernon said.

“You don’t need to be stabbed or shot or physically wounded in any way to suffer mentally. Anything I can do to just lower that stigma… I’m happy to do it.”

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For anyone experiencing a mental health crisis, a suicide hotline is available at 9-88.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.

For a directory of support services in your area, visit suicideprevention.ca/resources/#support-services